my brother the fag - a song by vuffy

i hate my little brother 

hes so gay

i really wanna stab him

watch him bleed

once he took my secret diary 

so i took a candle to his eyesies,

burnt them out a little krispi

dont worry not to over done!

i hate my little brother 

i want him to die

hes so gay 

i kicked him in the ass

i bet he liked it the little skag

or if it was done by some big hairy fag!

i wanna take his hands and cut them up

so he cant fist up the butt 

i wanna take his feet 

cut them down

so he cant wear manolo blahnik pumps!

one day he came over to my room 

asked if he could wear my red gitano jumpsuit 

i said oh yeah you so sure can 

so i took it out and wrapped it up nice

then i strung it round his neck double twice!

his face turned blue a nice contrast 

he passed out!
he fell out!
he looked almost dead!

so i took his wallet and went to the mall with my friends haha lol

i cant beleive he fell for that again

my brothers such a fag!!!!

gotta do it

time to kill my bf

chop his head off watch him die

make it look like a suicide!

spray his mouth with my big bold hairspray 

shove the can right in his airway 

haha thats his throat!

cut his fingers off one by one 

make him bleed its so fun!

he needs to die! 

so i can be happy

with globmeister, so he still here 

take his hair gel mix it with acid

watch him apply it in the middle of classes

hsi scalp will burn his brain (or lack of) exposed

watch it melt away like some snow, DUH!

gotta kill my boy friend, watch hime die! 

make it look like he suicide!

HER SYMBOL

like now did you ever wonder who this globmeister is?

well if you want yo know i need your help you know,

see i need to summon him into this earth 

we need him like duh hes soooo hot and cool!

like once i was at school kicking in this dykes head and like

totally got like her hair clogged into my locker you know

it was sooooo grosssss like i didnt know what to do 

so i ust like you know prayed a bit and iek the hair vnished 

isnt that cool i know it was globmeister 

i still have some teeth from that day.

but we have got to get together 

so i need your help how to summon him

1. get some blood from a lezzy

2.get your new maddona record 

3.set the blood in like a little bowl thing on the record

4.play holiday backwords only holiday

5. chant a bit 

7. spray some hairspray 

9. and there you go

i need evrybody to help me do thsi til he can come into this earth please help

and if you liek dont i know i will sooooo know that your a like total mega dyke 

and you wont be able to hide from you you hear that shelly im gonna get you next time

i reallly like hate you im gonna get your blood you fat dyke your gonna get what you deserve!!!!

 

 

DEAR DIARY

i feel like these people are very challenged 

maybe there parents dropped then as babies and sat on them too,

or they ate one too many microwaved bean burritos you know that radiation can like mess with you.

but whatevs! 

oh maybe there brother is there mother nad there sister is there aunt?

or maybe ahamster bit them in the eye and it gave them trauma.

i think they need to hit the bottle and learn how to have a good time, but im not sharing with them duh!!!!

not like it gets under my wig you know 

or else i wouldnt be posting about this you know! 

duh!

im just gonna get a nice hit of coke and dance with globmesiter

maybe thts there problem i just have a really slammin hot bf and there jealous! 

at least i know who my true friends are tan + cindi haha lol 

god i really hate it when you ru out of hairspray and ypu have to use glue or w qq 25!!!

but today i ate some cheetos and then i gagged because i found a baby earthworm fried in the bag!!

ugh grussss 

bye bye   

i saw

I saw you there 

standing at the food court in the galleria

i so hate you 

like why did you even go there didnt i te3ll you not to show your

ugly

face

aroiund here anymore

? 

like jeez!!!!!
like why did tyou show up im gonna spray some hair spray in your mouth in the locker room 

and show tampons in your ears 

like if you ever go to the galleria again u r ded!!!

you got that andrea

god andrea nobody likes you your such a fool

with your stupid i love ny shirt

youve never even been there like even hah i doubt it

you family has no money ciz you smell bad !

 like one day when i make it with globmeister im gonna rule this like zip code i think

and your gonna be the first to go hyou know!

im gonna send you to like east la or something

maybe even like that one area

you know with the mascots 

who sing songs

and when prom comes up im gonna turn your bf gay!!!

if biff crayola isnt already!

ugh god i gotta go my dad is taking me and tan to the roller rink byer

 

a poem of my daily life stylez by me vuffy!

Curb stomping ponies right after school,

 just a girl tryin to stay cool! 

when i get home late at night

i like to get a real big spike

poke it right into johnnies eyes

try oh so hard to make him cry

he did it first that little cunt

stealing my underwear from my purse!

when i wake up i get to school

home room oh yeah its a swimming pool

i jsut did my hair so i wont swim

i guess i should just go an rim

in the bath room i am waitin!

for a good boy thats like named payten,

lunch tiem is no fun when you eat

so we like bend over and vomit and squeeze

smokin is cool too....

on the bus we ride in the back seat

stabbing our pencils in darice's hair

says shes gonna tell on us haha we dont care 

we see blitzo combin his hair 

so we take his comb and throw it in the air!

mitzy joins her friends for a date

so we chew some gum and hit her with a rake!

i get home oh god im tired

do some blow

and retire 

 

Sime people are such slitsticks!

you know who you are

like can you even be 

well any way

so there i was today at the pool

middle hour 20 minutes in

it was pool season 

our dyke of a gym teacher like so made us go swimming on the hottest day so she could see us sweat

thank god it wasnt the cold days

        

 well any way

there i was like not even swimming becuase like im gonna wake up xtra early to do my hair and ruin it by swimming like not even!

but so i used the old excouse you know 

aunt lind marie visted me and i have no tampons 

but miss lindinstock was not buying it

shes you know your normal dyke gym teacher

you know sweat suit tan orange skin awful hair thats fried haha 

and her perfume scent is burnt leather and cream

/UGHg so grossss

ugh

she hates me and my friend i know it

she wtachs us

EW maybe she even wants us 

who know

but once during swim class i swear to god she was fingering the air 

i bet mitzy was like in the 4ground who knows

so lets to get down to what happened 

well there i was with my period""

and mis dykestock came up to me and said i cant have a 4 month period 

i was llike yeahh i cannn

miss d didnt buy it 

 she said i had to swim the laps today

i said im soooo sure i will miss d 

she had it with m,y "attitude"

and picked me up a threw me in!

i swear she touched my kitkat

but that was the last straw

she gave me after school detention 

which is perfect for me to plan my most awesome plan yet!

i had tan and cindi meet me by the big tree ay luch we discussed the plan and it was a get go perfecft plan yeah haha lol

so it was after school i threw up my lunch and was ready to go

so i was waiting there in my barbie pink one piece waiting for that slut skank

waiting so i could yell those words

"DYKE!!!"

here she came 

i yelled dyke

tan and cindi jumped out

cindi filled her mouth with chlorine tablets

and tan tied her up with the swimteams old speedos that she kept in her locker

then we stabbed out her heart just incase she tried to come back to life 

ive heard butch dykes can be reanimated from vana vinglass

we dropped her off in the deep end you know for fun 

and that was the end of her

nobody questioned it 

and i never had to swim again 

well not in waters ;)