my brother the fag - a song by vuffy

i hate my little brother 

hes so gay

i really wanna stab him

watch him bleed

once he took my secret diary 

so i took a candle to his eyesies,

burnt them out a little krispi

dont worry not to over done!

i hate my little brother 

i want him to die

hes so gay 

i kicked him in the ass

i bet he liked it the little skag

or if it was done by some big hairy fag!

i wanna take his hands and cut them up

so he cant fist up the butt 

i wanna take his feet 

cut them down

so he cant wear manolo blahnik pumps!

one day he came over to my room 

asked if he could wear my red gitano jumpsuit 

i said oh yeah you so sure can 

so i took it out and wrapped it up nice

then i strung it round his neck double twice!

his face turned blue a nice contrast 

he passed out!
he fell out!
he looked almost dead!

so i took his wallet and went to the mall with my friends haha lol

i cant beleive he fell for that again

my brothers such a fag!!!!

gotta do it

time to kill my bf

chop his head off watch him die

make it look like a suicide!

spray his mouth with my big bold hairspray 

shove the can right in his airway 

haha thats his throat!

cut his fingers off one by one 

make him bleed its so fun!

he needs to die! 

so i can be happy

with globmeister, so he still here 

take his hair gel mix it with acid

watch him apply it in the middle of classes

hsi scalp will burn his brain (or lack of) exposed

watch it melt away like some snow, DUH!

gotta kill my boy friend, watch hime die! 

make it look like he suicide!

HER SYMBOL

like now did you ever wonder who this globmeister is?

well if you want yo know i need your help you know,

see i need to summon him into this earth 

we need him like duh hes soooo hot and cool!

like once i was at school kicking in this dykes head and like

totally got like her hair clogged into my locker you know

it was sooooo grosssss like i didnt know what to do 

so i ust like you know prayed a bit and iek the hair vnished 

isnt that cool i know it was globmeister 

i still have some teeth from that day.

but we have got to get together 

so i need your help how to summon him

1. get some blood from a lezzy

2.get your new maddona record 

3.set the blood in like a little bowl thing on the record

4.play holiday backwords only holiday

5. chant a bit 

7. spray some hairspray 

9. and there you go

i need evrybody to help me do thsi til he can come into this earth please help

and if you liek dont i know i will sooooo know that your a like total mega dyke 

and you wont be able to hide from you you hear that shelly im gonna get you next time

i reallly like hate you im gonna get your blood you fat dyke your gonna get what you deserve!!!!

 

 

DEAR DIARY

i feel like these people are very challenged 

maybe there parents dropped then as babies and sat on them too,

or they ate one too many microwaved bean burritos you know that radiation can like mess with you.

but whatevs! 

oh maybe there brother is there mother nad there sister is there aunt?

or maybe ahamster bit them in the eye and it gave them trauma.

i think they need to hit the bottle and learn how to have a good time, but im not sharing with them duh!!!!

not like it gets under my wig you know 

or else i wouldnt be posting about this you know! 

duh!

im just gonna get a nice hit of coke and dance with globmesiter

maybe thts there problem i just have a really slammin hot bf and there jealous! 

at least i know who my true friends are tan + cindi haha lol 

god i really hate it when you ru out of hairspray and ypu have to use glue or w qq 25!!!

but today i ate some cheetos and then i gagged because i found a baby earthworm fried in the bag!!

ugh grussss 

bye bye   

i saw

I saw you there 

standing at the food court in the galleria

i so hate you 

like why did you even go there didnt i te3ll you not to show your

ugly

face

aroiund here anymore

? 

like jeez!!!!!
like why did tyou show up im gonna spray some hair spray in your mouth in the locker room 

and show tampons in your ears 

like if you ever go to the galleria again u r ded!!!

you got that andrea

god andrea nobody likes you your such a fool

with your stupid i love ny shirt

youve never even been there like even hah i doubt it

you family has no money ciz you smell bad !

 like one day when i make it with globmeister im gonna rule this like zip code i think

and your gonna be the first to go hyou know!

im gonna send you to like east la or something

maybe even like that one area

you know with the mascots 

who sing songs

and when prom comes up im gonna turn your bf gay!!!

if biff crayola isnt already!

ugh god i gotta go my dad is taking me and tan to the roller rink byer

 

a poem of my daily life stylez by me vuffy!

Curb stomping ponies right after school,

 just a girl tryin to stay cool! 

when i get home late at night

i like to get a real big spike

poke it right into johnnies eyes

try oh so hard to make him cry

he did it first that little cunt

stealing my underwear from my purse!

when i wake up i get to school

home room oh yeah its a swimming pool

i jsut did my hair so i wont swim

i guess i should just go an rim

in the bath room i am waitin!

for a good boy thats like named payten,

lunch tiem is no fun when you eat

so we like bend over and vomit and squeeze

smokin is cool too....

on the bus we ride in the back seat

stabbing our pencils in darice's hair

says shes gonna tell on us haha we dont care 

we see blitzo combin his hair 

so we take his comb and throw it in the air!

mitzy joins her friends for a date

so we chew some gum and hit her with a rake!

i get home oh god im tired

do some blow

and retire 

 

Sime people are such slitsticks!

you know who you are

like can you even be 

well any way

so there i was today at the pool

middle hour 20 minutes in

it was pool season 

our dyke of a gym teacher like so made us go swimming on the hottest day so she could see us sweat

thank god it wasnt the cold days

        

 well any way

there i was like not even swimming becuase like im gonna wake up xtra early to do my hair and ruin it by swimming like not even!

but so i used the old excouse you know 

aunt lind marie visted me and i have no tampons 

but miss lindinstock was not buying it

shes you know your normal dyke gym teacher

you know sweat suit tan orange skin awful hair thats fried haha 

and her perfume scent is burnt leather and cream

/UGHg so grossss

ugh

she hates me and my friend i know it

she wtachs us

EW maybe she even wants us 

who know

but once during swim class i swear to god she was fingering the air 

i bet mitzy was like in the 4ground who knows

so lets to get down to what happened 

well there i was with my period""

and mis dykestock came up to me and said i cant have a 4 month period 

i was llike yeahh i cannn

miss d didnt buy it 

 she said i had to swim the laps today

i said im soooo sure i will miss d 

she had it with m,y "attitude"

and picked me up a threw me in!

i swear she touched my kitkat

but that was the last straw

she gave me after school detention 

which is perfect for me to plan my most awesome plan yet!

i had tan and cindi meet me by the big tree ay luch we discussed the plan and it was a get go perfecft plan yeah haha lol

so it was after school i threw up my lunch and was ready to go

so i was waiting there in my barbie pink one piece waiting for that slut skank

waiting so i could yell those words

"DYKE!!!"

here she came 

i yelled dyke

tan and cindi jumped out

cindi filled her mouth with chlorine tablets

and tan tied her up with the swimteams old speedos that she kept in her locker

then we stabbed out her heart just incase she tried to come back to life 

ive heard butch dykes can be reanimated from vana vinglass

we dropped her off in the deep end you know for fun 

and that was the end of her

nobody questioned it 

and i never had to swim again 

well not in waters ;)

 

Date nights

have you ever been on a date night with you bf

and things are getting a lil boring

well here are some thingsyou can do to make it fresh and new 

1.steal some new stockings from hudsons 

2.make sure you steal that red lipstick that gets daddy mad

3.try a new eatting house maybe white castle?

4.try doing something frisky during dinner, maybe stab him in the thigh with a plastic fork!

5.order the same foods so you can vomit the same colors. how romantic~♡

7.;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;)

8.get an abortion 

9.have that cake

10.post picks of his peepee online i know its not much but maybe you can get a free cd!!

happy date night, dont get too bloody ;)

gggggggggggggg

nice kisses

happy rainbow

get your krimper

get your hair

there you go

your doin it right

stahf

Today i woke up in  hotel room with chps n my hair

i think i passed out 

there were like chkips n my hair grossssssss

and m on my old brbie speak n say

god t smells in this hotel

and theres strange stains on the mirror and bible

and lets make a deal uis on 

i just feel like julie after she got back form the mall to find out her bf

dumped her for some punk girl

i need to do some blow

ughughughu ohohohoho ohmygodGDGGGODDGGOODD

OH GLOBMEISTER 

OOHHOHOHOH 

OHMYGOD I LOVE YOU

IF I COULD HAVE YOU HERE WITH ME 

I WOULD LET IT BE 

OH MY GOSOOSOOSOOOD

STICK A CROSS IN MY REAR 

CUT ME UP AND SET MY HAIR ON A FAN

TURN IT ON A LET IT GO

FEEL THAT PAIN I LOVE FROM YOU NOT BEING HERE

I WANT YOU TO PUT A RECORD NEEDLE ON MY NAKED BODY AND LISTEN TO THE SWEET NOISE MY BODY MAKES!

GIVE ME THE DRUGS OF SATAN 

THROW MADONNAS NEW SINGLE AT ME 

MAKE IT OH SO LOUD BBY GLOBMEISTER.

DO A LINE OF COKE OFF YOU 

DO A LINE OFF ME 

GOOD GOD!

WE WILL GET SO HAPPY

KLEENEX TISSUES 

YEAH AND BLEACH

WE WILL RUB EACH OTHERS FEET 

IN THE GLASS OF LOVE 

Should we tape it?

i dont know?

haha ok lol :)

Vuffy ♥'s The Globmeister

day 12

its so hot out i cant believe it

me and cindi went to go get some frozen ice cream you know

and on our way there we almost got hit by a car haha 

so we flashed our feet at them 

once we got there i got happy hour green bean and cindi got cotton candy crazy 

and we were eatting it and we foudn this gross out of this world hair in it right

so we knew whos it was right away 

it was mitzy sharpieblue's awful red hair 

so we went to the girls room to plan against her

we did a hit of speed of course

so we came up with a good plan 

every 30 minute break she goes to the back to take a nap

so we waited aroudn the rotten mustard

and there she was taking her nap

so we cut off her hair and put it in a cone 

we woke her up offered her an ice cream!

and she didnt even know she was eatting her frozen hair!

we didnt tell her till she was dont 

6 days later she had a fur baby 

 

cake knife intercourse

Today was the day

my birthday supreme 

i am 16

its time for the sluty fun

microwaves and curling irons are all i need

to make this day special

for tod and me

stick the iron in his rear end

make him make me a ice cream

its so hot i told him to stop!

he got my a pie i threw it up

i did some more drugs and made him spew 

he like it he ate it 

my throw up was warm 

it tasted liek turtles and corn 

today was my birthday 

i told my parents

they didnt get me anything

so i called satan

he helped me he helped you

make him vut them up

make a nice meat thing

with white clouds 

happy brown water 

yum yum dinner for all!

today was my birthday 

i hate you! 

if you see this i will let you know

your so ugly you make it snow

ohm yogd that was so mean haha 

jk 

NOT! 

hes my boy toy 

i make him do my dirty work

i dont really liek him

globmeister is my god

get it straight

 

4

your good 

your badd

your good 

your badd

your good 

your badd

your good 

your badd

your good 

your badd

your good 

your badd

your good 

your badd

your good 

your badd

your good 

your badd

your good 

your badd

your good 

                                                                        

your badd
                                     happy ice cream

 
                                                                    dreams of the the devils supreme

      where will i go

                                                     my school is haunted                   
                                                                                                                                i have a maxi pad lodged in my kuch


                                                                                        my father is a horse

                                 my mother is a rat
                           


                       



                                                                                                                       happy hour is only soon
                where do my glasses




helpo sassy she needs it

                                                            NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO






burn it burn it take off your  hot skirt and shake it














                                                             tod loves it

Do you ever feel like a book left out in the rain?

like geez  the other day there i was in detention waiting for tan
and  you know the teacher doing it that day one of those mega lezzy gym teachers
you know those ones that give you your towels after the shower! GUH ROSS
like i know right well any way there i was sitting and waiting behinde ricky hyminreister
who believe me smells like old cheese and rotten mice.
 well yeah like
it was gross
but so i was waiting like forever it was a monstrous time
so i decided to skip out and do some drugs in the football field
but thats where i saw it
tan
TAN
my tan
tanning bed tanner tan
trying out
for football
what do i do!
do i send her to one of those weird religious groups where they get the dyke out of you
or do i just cut out all her shoulder pads!
i just dont know you guys have any advice for me?

life of a lonely teen jezebell

Horses are your one true key to happiness 

you can pray to them

comb them

make there hoofs into glue

feed them to your dog or cat maybe even hamster!

they leave gifts for you

they smell like shit 

but the one thing i like most

is the secrets you share with them that they can never tell,

i love you applegate 

 

Bitchin vacation

So here i am on my wordly vacation me and daddy and a friend of my choice 

get to go on a little break you know.

so we thought we would pick someplace desperate like 

ohio or china you know so we picked ohio duh!

not really haha you think id go there we went to disney world!

so we got there and guess 

who

 we 

     saw ....

jordan branch 

not only is he the biggest jerk in high school 

he also took tans baby (btw im here with tan cindi got flat)

well so we saw him there turns out hes working as like that yellow dog

saturn or something well anyway, we had this plan to get him and snow white fired 

we just dont like her shes misleading 

but so we got hungry and got one of those big meat sticks they have

you know like i cant believe people even like these!

we just threw them up after thank god i had someone to hold my hair.

so then after that we figured we try and find some of those barbie dolls they only sell here

so we were going to liek this gift shop when it happened 

 we got our plan 

we are going lure him into the dream fountain ride 

you know that one where they take you snap shot

we are gonna like make out with him or give him a hand job or something adn then show it to mickey mouse and have him kicked out for good!

lets just see if it works!

and as for snow white were just gonna push her off the happy blue castle! 

Dream boat ken

                                                                   Do you know me?

                                                                        I know you,

We met before!

My hotness dream!

My ice cream supreme i love you!

Snow day!!

So today me and tan decided to cut classs today

4th period math we decided were gonna cut it from now on

because my jem doll told me it was a waste of time 

so we dicided to go over her bf brandons house

 so like we got there it was a long walk you know 

and so we get there and we come in and we see he got some cocaine for us

so we were like ohmygod lets do some 

and we were like deciding how much to do and to save for later ,

well i guess we did need 4th period math after all!

well it turned out we heard these noises from up stairs 

like banging and stuff

well brandon o.d-ed on something

looks like he needs 4th period math too! hahahaha 

have a good fun day see you in 4th period math!

 

 time to call the medics!

Method! 1

like remember when i like failed a class

well i have a system to get your awful grades from an f to maybe even a C!

just follow my awesome steps and figure it out!

 F.just be like a total skank and not do anything in classs duh!!

D.like you gotta wear you red pumps to school the day of the test and like dangle them off your toes you know, like aldo wear you glitter gqal socks for an effect so your teacher will see them

 C.try and give him a kiss like i know you can do it make sure to do it after class though you best friends might get jealous your getting good grades for nothing!!

B. this one may be harder if you have up tight parents like mine, But try and invite your teacher over for a tutor session and wear you lacey skirt for east lifting, you may not study who discovered america but you will discover something else! 

A. now this one is the hardest to do, you want to do what you did for "B"

but you like gotta do it a little more instead. like just make sure you take your carebears off your bed for this because things might get bloody, first thing you of course want to sleep with him and make sure he stays a bit after because this is were it gets bloody now make sure you naked because you gonna need to get you like pen or something and jab it inot his heart right, then your gonna want to take his blood and draw a pentagram on his back or something so you can summon the devil and once satan appears before you you you have you offer mr. alaponty 's heart as a gift to satan, and satan will take the form of your teacher and will automatically give you an a for your class! 

isnt that simple now go try some out! 

there super fun and east for any girl! 

i know if ican do it you can too like byeeee!

Report card

I really doubt my daddy knows what its like to be pretty popular and have great friends

its not like i can balance all that plus my all yogurt and blow diet,

like GEE-SUS daddy just becuase i failed math dosnt mean im like gonna like you know be dumb

like i need math where im going ha ill show him

oncei  become that famouse pop all singing sensation i will like write a book about like my childhood

and make like the mommy daddy dearest HA

that will show him 

ughgHGH

but any way when i was at school today the craziest thing happened

me and tan you know have the same lunch and cindi has lunch b well so

we like went down the street to the burger king and got two of those you know those wierd little chicken things

well any was so we got some and liek ate them and of course threw them up after, DUH!

but so there we were we saw him douglas popin  bunker 

well if you dont know who he is hes only cindi'n on again of again bf well

there on again this week because she was so super horny 

BUT

we saw him SUCKING FACE with JOHN BEAD VANDERHOUR

iknow right you know i dont even have to say it!!

but so we told cindy and we foudn out he thought she was a tranny this whole time! 

wow you think you know a guy but you really dont.

it was crazy right! like ugh you would he he would have you know foudn out she was a lady after sex... unless you know 

well im guessing yeah thats how he never found out 

well i gotta go now like i gotta get ready to go over to globmeisters!

chat you later girls! 

John trailer $ my love

i remember the day like i went to the duran duran concery like it was the BEST tyme i had ever had!

i went with cindi and tan, we had a best best friend time!

ofci todder drove us and gave us that magic powder teehee!

but tan and me swear by it but johnny tailer looked and pointed at ME!

cindi was soo jealous so thats the only reaso nshe says he wasnt pointing at me but the skank behind us, haha so jealous haha but yeah anyway

we had down a bunch of blow and we wore out fav little glitter dresses so we woudl shine and a half.

but any way this is the photos ive collected of john he such a dreamy dreamer,

he played the best harpsichord and zapper i have ever heard!

like you wouldn't believe it was really him!

but i knew he played hungry hungry hungary jus for me

i just almost died haha ask tan she saw my fall back and lose my fav hairclip!

ugh i gotta go lay my self down my vagina is twinkling again! haha chat later girl bye!! 

oh what a night!

one day we will get married i know we will!

clack clack oh my

WOW i cant even believe

that new kinds on the block album is sooo gooodddd

like steps by click just every sogn was like a ride to the toy store and back

my favorite song would have to be "ice cream makes me fum"

it makes me soooo horny

like if you have the chance to get it i say bite it its so good 

like you know me and cindi were at the mall yesterday and she popped it in her cassette playerand we got wasted at the food court eatting our sbirroh's pizza

and almost got kicked out but my daddy know the guy who owns the mall so it was all 100

haha well i give it a star out of 45

ahha super!

good times!

get ready!

GET IT!

WOW

I just got a date with the globmeister (such a hottie hottie)!!

wow i need ot get so ready right now!

here soem tips for a goof date night full of romance!

first off make sure your not wearing undies but if you do make sure there clear

2. bring a flask of vodka incase you go to burger king or wendys 

3. cocaine is fun

4.make sure you dumb little sister dosnt hang around you or you big fag brother! such a pain!

6. just have fun! nothing says fun like doing cocaine off the toilet of a fast food joint then getting the money the next stall over!

have fun and be good!

Fun time mood

hguhghhuguhuhuguhguhuhg

guhghuhguhguhughugh

guhguhguhguhughughuhughuh

ghghughuguhguhguhg

guhguhguhguhguhuhguhguhguhg

ghughughuguuhguguhgu

ghughuguhguhguhguguhguhguhg

woowoo girl

Sometimes

Sometimes i feel like you know 

you know when your heel comes off after a hard night workin the corner

on the la streets after your dad yelled at you for wearing your leather mini skirt and red aqua heels yeah i know that feeling,

i just dont know what to do

i mean its not like it was my favorite hairspray but it was nice for a windy day

i think i might do some blow and dance all night to feel better,

r.o.p air tight seal night hair spray.

you will be missed

NOT

Mood today,

 

 

 

 

IM GOING TO HAVE A BABY

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

I TOLD JOHNNY TO USE PROTECTION, AND I WAS ON THE PILL! MY LIFE IS OVER I CANT BECOME PROM QUEEN

you know what i have to do now

thank god they give free coat hangers with every clothing purchase at hudsons

Lets have a sleep over!

 

Hi everyone im here to stay!

Like Hiiiiieeeeeee~~~~ ❥ teehee

Im vuffy as you may know already! 

like im sooooo happy your here with us

so here im gonna like put up my life story and thoughts of the world over!

so like here you will see what its really like to be super rich and super coo!

i like to party, dance, eat, do cocaine wiht my boy toy scott todd sommers (we just call him todder) and just have fun!

so lets start off with a happy foot! and have fun, step step~~